New Mother’s Day poll shows that 59% of mums kept their pregnancy journey a secret from their own mums.

A YouGov poll released ahead of Mother’s Day has revealed that 59% of mums didn’t share their own journey to becoming a parent with their own mum.

Commissioned by UK pregnancy charity Tommy’s as part of its #WeSeeAMum campaign, the poll revealed ‘embarrassment’, it being ‘too personal’ and ‘not having that type of relationship with their mum’ as the top reasons for keeping the journey a secret.

The survey was part of the charity’s Mother’s Day campaign #WeSeeAMum to highlight the different ways people become parents, the struggles faced by some and the complex range of emotions triggered by their experiences.

The charity launched the campaign in 2022 to recognise all mums, wherever they are on their pregnancy journey, and aims to encourage people to talk more openly about different paths to parenthood.

The poll also highlighted that:

• 40% of UK adults agreed that we should talk more about people’s different experiences of becoming a parent.
• 30% of mums find Mother’s Day too commercial.
• 12% of mums find the day difficult as there are too many expectations.
• Only just over one-third of mums expressed happiness (39%) when thinking about Mother's Day.
• 56% of mums first felt like a parent when they held their baby in their arms and 12% felt like a mum when they had a positive test pregnancy test.

Kath Abrahams, Tommy’s Chief Executive said:

Based on female parents

“Our poll suggests that sadly, many mums find it difficult to share their journey to parenthood, even with their own mum.

At the same time, many of those who took part said we should be able to talk more openly about experiences such as baby loss and difficulties conceiving. “#WeSeeAMum was created to capture different moments from different journeys, from the joyous to the devastating.

“Our message is that all mums should feel able to share their story and know they will be supported, whatever challenges and losses they have been through or are going through.

“Every experience should be recognised, and every mum celebrated and supported, from the moment they feel like a parent.

“For some, that’s when they hold their baby in their arms. For others, it’s when they see a positive pregnancy test.

“Whenever it happens, no mum should have to hide that precious moment. At Tommy’s, we see a mum, and we’re here to support you.”

To speak to a Tommy’s midwife about any aspect of your pregnancy, or if you need support and advice following a pregnancy loss, contact the team at midwife@tommys.org. You can also call them for free on 0800 014 7800 (Monday to Friday, 9am to 5pm).