What to do if your child didn’t get their first choice of Secondary school

1. Don’t panic

I know this is easier said than done when you had pinned all your hopes onto your child going to a particular school, but if you panic then this could be really upsetting and worrying for your child. Panicking could also lead to you making knee-jerk reactions that aren’t helpful in the long run.

2. Do your research

If you have had your heart set on one school, you may not have done much research into the other schools in your area. Lots of schools have dedicated Facebook pages and I have seen lots of groups popping up on social media that are dedicated to the year group your child will be in. Try joining some of these groups and asking questions about the school. You may have some specific concerns about the school, like uniform policies, extracurricular activities or bullying, being able to ask these questions in a group with parents of children who already attend the school will be really valuable. Also, find out which schools your child’s friends have got into and speak to some of their parents. If things like travel are a concern, you may find that this is a concern other parents have and you may be able to work together to create a car share system for the school run.

3. Talk to your child about the situation

By now your child will have been able to speak to their friends and have a good feel for how they feel about this. If your child is worried, try talking to them about any specific concerns they have. You may be able to then talk about some of these concerns in the social groups you have made, or you may be able to discuss the worries together and find a solution. If your child is happy with their choice but you aren’t then they may even be able to convince you the new school is the best choice.

If you have tried all of the above and are still really unhappy you can look at the school's appeals process. You may be able to go on a waiting list for your chosen school.

Whatever you decide, just know that you are not alone. There are lots of families waking up in similar situations this morning, so make the most of chatting with some of them. I know lots of parents who weren’t happy with their school choice, but a few years down the line they have thought of it being a blessing in disguise as their child is now flourishing in that school.