How to combat loneliness as a parent this Christmas
When you think about loneliness at Christmas, you will probably – and rightly – think of older people, or people living far from home. You probably wouldn’t think of Mothers and Fathers who are able to spend the festive season with their families. However, things are often not exactly as they seem in the movies, or the endless Christmas adverts you see on TV. Christmas – for a lot of parents – is a stressful and highly-pressured time of the year, where society’s expectations are the harshest.
Whilst Christmas can provide some of the most magical memories for a family, it’s time we admit it isn’t always the most wonderful time of the year.
Treating yourself
Christmas places the biggest mental load on me of any time in the calendar. We all recognise society’s image of the perfect family Christmas, but reaching that expectation is impossible without unlimited time, money, and, frankly, a magic wand. Despite knowing that it is unattainable in the real world though, we all still hold ourselves to it. That leads to a lot of avoidable frustration, directed at ourselves, when we can’t provide it.
Striving to get your Christmas shopping done, tree up, presents wrapped, dinner cooked and a million other jobs means that at this time of year, the most stressful time of year, we never take the time to put ourselves first as parents. It might seem like there isn’t the time, but this is exactly why it is such a good idea to prioritise self-care over the festive period. You shouldn’t feel afraid to take a step-back, breathe, and think about how you can better look after yourself. Acknowledging that self-care is your best tool is key to being the best parent you can be for your family’s Christmas.
Focus on your own Family
The expectation for creating the ‘perfect family Christmas’ comes from all around us, but I think the biggest culprit is everyone’s biggest frenemy: social media. During December, it’s impossible to go on any social platform without seeing pictures of smiling families looking like they’ve got it all together. The simplest piece of advice is the most effective in this case – unfollow anyone and everyone who makes you feel negative.
Whilst it can sometimes feel difficult to remember it, social media is not real life and the posts you see never tell the whole story. People only show their ‘best bits’ online and it’s not fair to compare yourself to someone else’s highlight reel. When the pressure is on and you always feel the need to be doing more to keep up with everyone else, the best thing you can do is to take time to protect your own peace and be the best version of yourself for your family.
Get outside and enjoy the winter wonderland
Winter can be very off-putting when you’re thinking about going outdoors.
I get it.
It’s dark by 4pm (or even earlier!), and there’s enough rain, snow and sleet to fill up your little ones’ wellies to the brim.
But I passionately believe it is the best way to look after your mental and physical health, and fight back against feelings of isolation and loneliness.
My organisation, Mamma Social Co, runs FREE Talk and Walk sessions throughout the year, with a focus on getting mothers and fathers out of the house and having positive interactions with other parents who are in the same boat. I know how hard being a new parent can be and the pressures that you face, having experienced postnatal depression and suicidal thoughts myself as a Mam. Getting out and about has proven benefits for your body and mind, and can be a powerful outlet for stress during challenging times of the year. It’s a way to directly fight back against the effects of loneliness and isolation which I’ve discussed in this article.
We’ve got over 60 parent leads up and down the country who all run the weekly Talk and Walk Bump, and Walk and Play sessions.
Article credit - Kayleigh Laverick
