Doctor Warns of Mental Health Strain on Parents as the Nation Faces a Rest Crisis

Almost two-thirds of UK parents (62%) feel burnt out or stressed on a daily basis. That’s according to new research launched during Mental Health Week (12th-19th May), which also found two-thirds (66%) of parents never feel like they get enough rest or relaxation time.

The survey of 2,000 UK adults, conducted by Platinum Spas, explores the state of British relaxation and its impact on our wellbeing. Worryingly, it found that the nation’s parents could be operating in a rest deficit, as the average parent only gets 2 hours and 40 minutes per week to properly rest, and unwind (not including time asleep). What’s more, almost half of parents with children under 18 (43%) rest for under 1 hour per week!

Commenting on the research, Dr Gracie McLaven, founder and clinical psychologist at Brain Body Wealth told Platinum Spas,

“Sadly, I’m not surprised by these findings. I hear this a lot in the therapy room, but that doesn’t make it any less alarming.” 

Dr Mclaven continues,

“When two-thirds of parents admit they never feel properly rested, we have to see this as a serious public health concern. Rest is absolutely vital for our mental health, it’s during these quiet moments that our brain is able to process thoughts, regulate emotions, and consolidate memories. 

“Without rest, our minds stay in a constant state of overload, which can lead to increased stress, irritability, and difficulty coping. Our nervous systems become dysregulated, our emotional reserves get depleted, and even small tasks can start to feel unmanageable.”

What is causing this rest crisis among parents?

The study found that 96% of UK parents struggle with barriers to rest, reporting that they put their family or partner’s wellbeing above their own mental or physical health. Perhaps more tellingly, 60% of parents admit to feeling guilty when they do rest, while 51% feel judged by others for taking time out.

Dr Gracie  McLaven commented,

“In the therapy room, I often hear people express guilt around resting. For parents especially, this guilt is often tied to the pressure of being ‘the perfect parent’. There’s a deep belief that rest is indulgent or even irresponsible, that good parents should always be doing, helping, and giving. But the truth is, rest isn’t a luxury, it’s a necessity. 

“When parents prioritise rest it has a positive ripple effect on those they are caring for. When parents are rested, they’re more patient, more emotionally available, and better able to meet the demands of family life. It’s not selfish to rest, it’s an act of care, for ourselves and our children.”

Performative rest is replacing real relaxation

Another major barrier to meaningful rest is the rise of “performative rest” - activities that look like downtime but fail to truly recharge the brain, such as scrolling on social media or binge-watching TV.

Over a third of parents (34%) say they struggle with this, and 65% admit they often rely on ‘quick fixes’ like phone use to try and relax. For example:

• 50% go on their phone while watching TV
• 36% go on their phone while on the toilet
• 34% go on their phone while eating
• 33% go on their phone while socialising

Interestingly, Gen X women (ages 45–60) were most likely to multitask rest time in this way.

Dr McLaven adds,

“For parents carrying a relentless and often invisible mental load, true rest can feel out of reach. Many tend to prioritise the needs of those around them over their own wellbeing, leaving little room for rest that actually restores. 

“Guilt plays a big role too, taking time for themselves can feel selfish, so they turn to quick, low-effort distractions like scrolling or passive screen time. These might offer a momentary sense of escape, but they rarely give the brain the space it needs to properly reset. Without intentional rest, we stay in survival mode, running on fumes.”

Poor rest is leading to burnout

It was revealed that parents experience a more negative impact from poor rest when compared to non-parents. Parents who rest little suffer from poor “mood” (53%), experience worse motivation levels (42%), increased anxiety (42%), and poorer mental health and resilience (40%).

It is no wonder that parents of under-18s are more likely to be burned out than those who aren’t parents or guardians. Almost two-thirds (64%) of parents say that they are currently burned out, which is nine percentage points higher than those who are not parents.