“I cry quietly in the corner some days”: The Extra £4K Cost of Raising a Disabled Child

• It costs up to £12,400 per year to raise a child up to age 18

• Kirsty and her family spend an estimated £4,120 more per year to raise her disabled daughter, compared to other one-child households

• Kirsty and her family are on track to save £480 through Purpl Discounts this year

September 2025: As living costs soar for families, Kirsty, a mum from Berkshire, shares the additional emotional and financial cost of raising a disabled child.

On average, it costs up to £12,400 per year (roughly £1,030 a month) to raise a child up to age 18 in the UK, according to LV. However, for parents of disabled children, that figure only paints part of the picture.

Becoming a Parent to a Disabled Child

For 32-year-old Kirsty and her partner Dean, their lives changed when they welcomed their daughter Harper, aged 6, who was later diagnosed with autism (Pathological Demand Avoidance profile), Hyperlexia, Sensory Processing Difficulties, and Restrictive Eating Patterns.

“We first suspected that Harper was autistic when she was just under a year old,” Kirsty recalls. “She didn’t respond to her name, and she couldn’t maintain eye contact with us. Later, she was non-verbal, until one day when she surprised us by reading out loud! Over time, we realised it was more complex than autism alone.”

Becoming Harper’s mother meant letting go of the parenting script she once imagined. “When you’re expecting, you have all these hopes and ideas about what it will be like, and the reality has been quite different. We love our Harper so much, and she is the most amazing little girl, but we’ve had to learn not to compare ourselves to other families.” 

The Financial Costs of Raising a Disabled Child

When Harper was born, Kirsty gave up her role as a Teaching Assistant and was able to find work at Harper’s nursery, which allowed her to save on the cost, but it was still a pretty penny at £400 per month, a total of £4,800 per year. 

As Harper aged out of nursery, Kirsty and her family had to think about other ways to balance the budget. “I had to give up earning a salary because I am the primary carer, so we are a one-income family living in Service Family Accommodation. Wherever possible, I try to freelance by writing, supporting brands with their social media, or selling goods like apothecary oils and handmade items to bring in extra income.”

Now six years old, Harper’s autism means the family has to spend on additional tools, which add up: 

• Specialist therapies (occupational and speech therapy): £80 per hour for each therapy, with one of each session costing £160 a month and £1,920 a year

• Sensory tools (wobble boards, wobble cushions, ear defenders, etc): About £500 a year 

• Adaptive clothing (sensory clothing, specific fabrics): £500 a year

• Learning resources (Ongoing costs for toys, books, school materials, therapy subscriptions, and online SEND courses): £500 a year

• Mobility aids (mobility buggy): £700

Altogether, the Northams spend an estimated £4,120 more per year compared to other one-child households. In addition to the £12,400, families like the Northams are spending over £17,000 on raising their child. 

Even with Child Benefit, DLA, and Carer’s Allowance totalling £800, the sums don’t add up. “We’ve had to cut down the specialist sessions to save. Debt is an issue, and even when we think we’re in the clear, somehow we land back in it,” explained Kirsty. “My savings are non-existent, having been used to top up accounts for bills and unexpected costs. It doesn’t help that anything used for disabilities automatically has a ‘suped-up price tag’.

Unfortunately, the financial strain can come with emotional distress. Kirsty herself lives with Functional Neurological Disorder, making it challenging to care for both herself and her child. “I cry quietly in the corner some days. I often get told off for not looking after myself, but parenting a disabled child means sacrificing a lot because your child’s needs always come first.”

Finding Small Wins

Despite the pressure, small wins matter. “Our normal weekly shop is usually around £100, but with Purpl Discounts I managed to get everything for about £90, which has helped,” said Kirsty. 

The platform has also made family outings more affordable. “We don’t always treat ourselves, so it was nice when we got a discount on Chessington. My favourite memory was when we were walking to the entrance and my daughter was jumping on the pawprints.” 

Kirsty is on track to save £480 this year through Purpl Discounts from the Morrison’s code alone. The discount site has estimated that members like Kirsty can save about £700 a year. Since its July 2024 launch, Purpl Discounts has helped members save nearly £2 million collectively. Alongside Morrisons, parents of disabled children can save on retailers like Natural Baby UK, Corgi, Horby, and other general retailers such as Currys, eBay, Iceland, Debenhams, and more. 

Georgina Colman, founder of Purpl Discounts, said: “As a disabled person myself, I know firsthand how expensive life can be. That’s part of why I started Purpl, and I’m proud we’re helping families like Kirsty’s. But the truth is, they shouldn’t have to rely on discounts to get by. Life with a disability is expensive, and policymakers are failing to recognise that.” 

Image credit: Purpl

A call for greater support

Echoing Mrs Colman’s words, Kirsty said: “The cost of living has increased so much that many SEND (Special Educational Needs and Disabilities) families are being squeezed. It would be amazing to see better support from the Government and local councils for disabled households. The SEND system is broken, and the constant fight for our children’s rights is beyond exhausting.”

Amid the exhaustion, there is joy. “I have an amazing child who is my literal sunshine,” Kirsty smiled. “She is my reason for getting up every day, she is my drive behind the fight, she is my entire world and then some.”