Expert tips to continue personal growth as a parent

As a leadership consultant, CEO and single parent, I understand the struggle to continue to support personal growth alongside that of your child. 

Like many people, I truly believe that becoming a parent is my greatest achievement. Bringing another life into the world and supporting their development is a magical experience. And it’s easy to forget that parents can still make important changes to their own lives, both personally and professionally.

I started my own business Firefly in 2011, and soon afterwards became a single parent when my marriage ended. I needed to grow my business to continue to provide for my daughter, as well as being available to catch those unmissable moments from her childhood. 

I had to find a balance that supported my daughter’s development as well as the growth of my business. Although I didn’t always get it right, I always thought it was valuable to see what lessons I could learn from both of them. In no particular order, here are my tips to finding the balance that’s right for you.

Know your growth sets a great example

It’s invaluable for a child to see their parents try something new and work towards a goal. Children absorb the world around them like sponges and it’s an important growth lesson for them to see their parents continue to develop. 

Whether it’s setting up a small business, learning a new instrument, or trying a different sport, there are many ways of showing the value of trying something new, even if it’s bumpy at the start.  

Parents will often feel guilty about making changes in their lives, and that doesn’t mean you’re not doing the right thing.  Showing you can adapt to new circumstances shows children that they can too.

Set clear boundaries in your working life

There are some events as a parent you simply don’t want to miss, whether they’re sports days, dance performances or birthday parties. 

There’s a common feeling that employees have to work long hours to prove their worth. As a parent, overworking is often unrealistic. It’s vital to know that a lot of amazing work can be completed in your core working hours, and it’s about the quality of the hours, not the quantity. 

In my role I aim to have “no meeting Fridays” to allow the main discussions to happen earlier in the week, which provides space to finish tasks and removes weekend working to spend quality time with my family and to make sure I have time for myself. 

Aim to give your full attention to one task at a time. 

I completely appreciate that advice to avoid multitasking is hard to follow with babies and toddlers. But it thankfully becomes more and more possible the older a child grows!

When I founded my business my daughter was six years old and I would often tell her “Mummy has 15 minutes of work left to do and then you will have my 100% attention”. Clear instruction calmed my daughter, as she knew it was just some more patience before my full concentration on what she was doing. The method allowed me to finish tasks without the feeling of doing a million things at once. 

Similarly, when you’re out of the office and doing family activities, know that it’s more than okay to switch off from work and focus on your loved ones. 

Take your child along for the ride

I’ve always involved my daughter in my business to some extent. As a single mum, I would have found it impossible to do anything else. She’s known some of my team members and has even been to work dinners with them. It’s given her skills such as being able to talk with adults from a very young age and to handle social situations that she might not otherwise have experienced.

It wasn’t always easy but integrating the different parts of my life has worked well and given us both much bigger gifts along the way.

Explaining to your child your exciting next steps makes them feel included – despite their young minds, you’ll also be amazed at the wise perspectives they can have! Scarlet even wrote a speech for one of my team days when she was about eight, and it is still framed in my office in her scratchy handwriting.

Despite it sometimes being tempting to set aside your family in pursuit of the change you want to make, you’ll find the change a lot more meaningful and sustainable if you can include them in your plans and ideas from the outset.

Kirsty’s first book, Untangled: A Practical and Inspirational Guide to Change We Choose and Change We Don't will be released on November 28th