How to Still Connect With Your Child Once They’ve Left for University

Your children moving to university marks the end of an era and the beginning of their independence. While your kids might be ready to go, you might be feeling a bit nervous about them taking on the world by themselves.

These feelings are understandable. One minute you’re ironing their school uniform, the next they’re adults, with a suitcase full of clothes moving onto a new stage of their life. So, the question is, how do you stay connected with your kids once they’ve started growing up?

In this article, we’ll go through some of the best advice on communicating with your child after they’ve flown the nest.

Find a healthy middle in communication

Part of moving to university and living in halls is the first time your child will have a permanent place of residence other than their family home. In the first few weeks and months, you’ll want to make sure they’re okay, making new friends, and what they’ve been up to.

If your child doesn’t respond as often as they might when they first arrive, don’t fret. Once they’ve settled in, they’ll be busy hanging out with friends, attending lectures, and exploring their independence away from home.

This is where finding a happy medium in how often you talk to your child while they’re at university is important. Connecting with them and keeping up is essential but also understanding that they’re living their life is equally something to think about. A call every other week or just texting back and forth will satisfy both peace of mind and their want for independence.

Don’t fall into helicopter parenting

Helicopter parenting is hovering over your child too much, preventing them from making their own decisions and creating an unhealthy attachment and need for parental influence on their life. There are even psychology degree courses that outline this type of obsessive behaviour.

It’s completely normal to worry about how your children are getting on and want to intervene if you think they can’t handle something. And while it is common for new students not to ask for help or understand something, forcing yourself into their situation can do more harm than good.

Being clingy can result in pushing your children away and even build resentment in them. In this case, make sure if they do have any problems, they can communicate with you without any judgement or reprimand. This will build a stronger connection with them in the long term, as they’ll feel seen more as an adult than as a confused child.

Occupy yourself

Separation anxiety and empty nest syndrome can have a huge impact on a parent’s mental health. Some parents have even reported having panic attacks that resulted in going to A&E because their child moved away for university.

Keep yourself occupied and focus more on living your own life just as your children are, especially in the first few months. Whether taking up a new hobby or making more plans to see friends, creating productive distractions rather than letting yourself be consumed by the feelings of missing your child can help lessen the impact of them not being there. You can build a better connection sometimes by not communicating 100% of the time. Think of how much you’ll have to talk about when you speak to them!

In the end, your child isn’t moving on from you. They’re beginning the next phase of their life and experiencing university life, which is incredibly exciting. You’ll always be their parent even though you don’t see them every day, and holidays are the perfect opportunity to catch up when they come home. You can still maintain connections with your child through texts and calls, as long as you understand and respect the boundaries you both set. It might be hard, but focussing on the positives of your child experiencing new things and making friends means there’s less chance of them getting homesick.